i'm lonely
4/12/26



i'm lonely.

i feel like on the face of it, i shouldn't be. i have an amazing boyfriend who loves me and cares for me. he likes spending time with me, and we spend a lot of time together. and i'm not romantically lonely. but i am friendship-ly lonely.

friendship-ly isn't a word, i made it up, just go along with it.

i watch many youtube channels as one does, and one of my favorite creators is someone with a somewhat similar life to me. living a childfree life with her boyfriend, thrifting and crafting, generally having a chill existence. but the one big difference in our lives is that she has friends.

i was watching one of her day in the life type videos where she had a girls day out with her friends. they went thrifting together, and got lunch, and hung out. and normally, idk, i watch videos like this and i don't even think about it. but this time, when i watched, i suddenly felt very sad that i didn't have that. not anymore. i don't have friends irl to hang out with, and i don't even have friends online anymore. not really.

i have some i talk to about tv, i have tumblr, but none of it is the same as having a chat room full of people who know you and are happy to talk to you about literally whatever. i really took it for granted when i had these kinds of friends in my life. and i wish i could have it again.